Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
