I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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