There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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