Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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