She is in my trunk
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize