I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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