I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
