and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
