rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
