i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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