I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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