The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
