the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
