I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
