So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
