My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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