Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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