i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize