Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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