I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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