she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
