If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize