Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
