Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
