u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
