I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
