I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
