I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
