Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
