got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
