do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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