tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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