dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
