If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
