No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
