look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
