ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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