She even gives head with a lisp.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
