She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
