when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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