don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
