yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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