this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
this hospital has no fireball
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
