did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We are all done wearing pants today
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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