Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
