my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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