Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
