i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
