I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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