is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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