singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
