I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
