i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
