Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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