Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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