the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
