Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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