my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
