dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My cat gives me a boner
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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