I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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