Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
