Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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