Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
