i can't believe i had my finger in that
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
