I think scott just propositioned me for sex
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
