it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
