glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You were trust falling into bushes
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
